Conquering Life Presents: Seena and Ben from The Onion

Get a taste of what it is like to sit at the same table as the Sports and Managing Editors of The Onion!

Conquering Life

“Chicago’s okay,” said Mr. Seena Vali, Sports Editor of The Onion.

“It’s a city,” offered Mr. Ben Berkley, The Onion’s Managing Editor.

“It’s definitely a city. If you look out there, there are buildings,” said Seena, gesturing to the window in the conference room which overlooks Chicago.

“It’s certainly a city,” said Ben.

Breaking news from The Onion Chicago headquarters: Chicago is, in fact, a city.

I can’t say for sure, but I definitely hope, that talking to editors of big-time publications is the meaning of life. This past Friday, I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with Seena and Ben with a group from my college, and during that one hour period of time, I had so much wisdom dropped on me.

“And the murder rate has gone up,” added Seena.

“Since we’ve been here?” asked Ben.

“Ya since we came here,” replied Seena.

“Weird coincidence.”

A…

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